jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
