i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
