dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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