I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
