You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
