Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it glows. i had to have it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
