Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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