If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
