So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
