loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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