I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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