He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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