He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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