remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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