??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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