I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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