I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
