I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
