i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
