Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
