omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
