Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
