I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
