Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize