And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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