Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
