If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
