Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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