Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
