Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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