I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
