Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
