Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
