No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize