just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
