...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
