I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
