At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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