What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
