I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
