can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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