He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
