I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
