Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
