im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
