8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
