dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
