let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
