I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
