you traded sex for a burrito?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
