there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize