I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Randomize
