Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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