Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
