her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
