Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize