I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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