i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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