Little spoons don't ask big questions
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
