i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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